Halloween

Halloween is a very important time of the year. Not only is it a once-per-year in a lifetime opportunity to dress up like something awesome, laugh, eat candy, and act like a kid, it’s also a necessary component of Birkie! training.

Although my costume last night – The Stimulus Package – had nothing to do with skiing, Halloween as a whole is important training. Halloween is about dressing up as something that you’re not and trying to get people to guess what or who you are. At the Birkie!, I must harness my Halloweenian powers to trick other skiers into believing that I’m a good skier. This will be difficult, since the Birkie! takes place outside of Halloween season (which itself requires extensive training) and because I am not a good skier by any stretch of the imagination.

Luckily, Halloween has taught me how to make people guess what I am. With Halloween, others are most likely to guess who you are if you either a) have a realistic costume, b) really play the part well, or c) tell people what you are. Thus, I have learned that, in order to make people guess that I’m a good skier, I must fulfill at least one of these criteria.

Looking like a fast skier requires significant bank accounts to purchase the tightest of the most high-tech synthetic, slowness wicking, air resistant, teleport friendly, materials. Without a major sponsorship deal, I will not look like a fast skier. Plus my bib will still say that I’m a slow wave. The third option, as you can tell by these blog entries, goes against my blunt realism about how bad I am. Thus, I must fulfill the second requirement and play the part well. This requires becoming a fast skier. That will be hard. I’d better keep training. So stay tuned for more blog entries!